Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Where Can I Turn For Peace?

Over the years of my life I have lost friends and family to death.

Some I have grieved for and continue to do so to this day. Some I was glad their suffering was over and they were off on a new journey.

Others have made the choice to leave us. I used to sit and shake my head and wonder why we couldn't help. Why we couldn't stop them.

I believe from the bottom of my soul that every person living on this earth today, those who have gone before us and those who are yet to come, make their own choices. I believe that is God’s plan for us. To choose our own way.

Two weeks ago on November 23rd a friend of mine made the choice to leave this world behind.


I have known her and her family for 30 years. I knew her when she was a frazzled young mom, a harried mom of teenagers, as a proud Grandma and an even prouder Great Grandma. And I knew her as her life started to unravel.

I taught all five of her children in church. Her daughters were like my daughters. I love them like they were my own. Her son was involved in the youth programs I taught in. And now my heart aches for them.

I understand the depression that can grab hold of you when life just seems too hard. I can understand wanting to leave it all behind. To leave those you love. To leave the world you love and to really want to go back to your heavenly home. I made it through my depression. Others don’t, even though they try hard to see their way back.

This sweet lady went through hell. She fought hard, her family fought hard and her friends fought hard to keep her here. But she couldn't take it any longer. Her family says she has let them know she wishes she would have stayed. We all wish she would have stayed.

At her funeral we sang a hymn called, “Where Can I Go For Peace?”. I had another friend pass away from Breast Cancer 9 years ago this month and this was her favorite hymn. It helped me through those dark days when I didn’t think I could make it. It helped me when my sweet friend died 9 years ago and when we sang it at the funeral of my friend who left us, it helped me there too. She knew she needed help and she tried, she really did. But her choice was still to leave us.

Her family has found their peace. They have great faith. They know they will see their wife, mother and grandmother again and that she is close by and watching over them and telling them to hold onto that faith.

Every single time I saw this friend she would kiss me on the check and tell me she loved me. She made me feel loved and special. Turns out she did the same thing with everyone she loved. How blessed I am that she shared this beautiful side of her with me? I will miss her and the love she shared.


Here is a video done by Mormon Missionaries of the song "Where Can I Turn For Peace?" This is not a professional performance, but this is from the heart. I hope you enjoy it and it gives you all a little bit of peace especially during this crazy busy Holiday Season. I wish all of you Peace in your lives.



I would like to encourage everyone who reads this to share the kind of love that my dear friend shared. Tell those you love that you do love them, now, while they are here with you. I told my friend everytime I saw her. And I know that she loved me. She shared that with me everytime we met. Lucky, lucky me!!

Psalms 30:5

.. weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.

12 comments:

McEwens said...

It is hard to lose those we love, harder more when they make that choice. I hope you find some peace in all this

Wep said...

I'm so sorry for your loss :-( I lost my dad when I was young, and have made it a point ever since to let those I love know it. No regrets...

HUGS!

Wep

Tracy P. said...

So sorry to hear about this difficult loss, Marrdy. My sister's husband took his life a few years back, and a dear friend did the same when we were young. Depression is such a dark road--I'm glad you found your way out of the pit. There is hope!

Demand More said...

Im so sorry that you lost a good friend. There is nothing I can say to make it better but I hope you know you have a HUGE family now that is there for you if needed :)

Love you!

Emily K. said...

I was sad to hear the news. I hope now she can find happiness and know her worth. You are such a great friend and good example. Thank you for your uplifting words.

nikkicrumpet said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. I had a special man in my life for many years who decided to end his own life. It was such a shock to everyone who loved him. I think it makes it doubly hard to lose a loved one...when you lose them by their own hand. My heart goes out to you and all of her friends and family. It makes me so sad that anyone ever gets to that point.

Amy @ Park City Girl said...

So sorry for your loss - hugs.

Kim said...

I'm so so sorry.

gingela5 said...

I'm sorry for your loss. I don't think there's any words I can say to you to make you feel better. I will keep you and your friend's family in my prayers.

Melissa B. said...

So sorry for your loss. Your friend is at peace now.

the Pan-lings said...

Marrdy, I cried when I heard she passed. I've known her 18 years and just this last year she has truly touched me. Stopping me to spread cheer and just so many words of encouragement, smiles, and hugs & kisses. Not use to this from her but embraced it all the same. Thank you for this touching tribute.

Lula! said...

Oh, Marrdy...