Dear Utah Jazz Front Office,
Now that our (notice how I say 'our'? All sports fans think they own the team don't ya think?) season has begun and we are 8-4 I think there may be one thing that needs to be added to the team.
Our starters are amazing. Our bench is the best ever. We are on our way. I'm sure you did notice that Fox Sports ranked us #6. Very nice. I think we should be #1 but those other pesky teams were voted before us. We have the worlds best fans too. But, as you already know, I am the best fan you have ever had or will ever have. (And don't let Nikki at blah, blah, blah blog tell you she is the biggest fan...maybe she is the co-biggest fan!)
So this is a going to be a great year.
Have you noticed that over the years there have been some really HOT players. Players like Bobby Hansen, who used to grab the front of his breakaway sweats and rip them off his body! Or Blue Edwards who was just too cute for words. (Plus those three super duper guys, Stockton, Malone and Hornacek!) But now we have Paul Milsap. (Small pause to catch my breath here!) Paul Milsap makes my heart flutter. I'm sure you saw his interview the other night without his shirt on, and I am here to tell you that the man is SOLID! Hmmmmm...
So, here is my idea. Paul needs his own person Fan Girl. (So, I'm not a girl, use your imagination!) I need to stand right by Paul during the games and fan him with one of those big ole feather fans. I know he gets hot and really could use some cooling down. The best part of this is that I will volunteer my services. You won't need to pay me a dime! I will even furnish my own fan. In Jazz colors of course.
Now, so you don't think I'm some crazed lunatic I want you to know that I am an upstanding citizen. I work a full time job, am the mother of three children, have a wonderful husband and have been entrusted every Sunday morning to teach 12 ten years at church. I swear I'm not the stalker from Hades! You can trust me.
Plus, I know that Paul really wants me to help out. He hasn't actually told me using any words, but I can "feel" him reaching out to me. Much the same way as Donny Osmond and all those baby animals. He wants me!! He needs me!! Oh baby, oh baby!!So please just give me a buzz and let me know if I should start on the 24th against Chicago. I can be at the arena a little early so you can give me keys to the locker room and Paul's car. Just for safekeeping, don't cha know?
If Paul has any opposition to this please let D Will, Korver or Matt Harping that my fanning services are open to them too. Actually, if we really get down to it, just let me inside and I will fan the whole team, Jerry and the other coaches included!Good Luck tonight in San Antonio. I will be stalking, opps, I mean watching you here at home. Waiting for your return!
Go Check out Paul at his own website http://pmillsap.com/.