Tuesday, January 6, 2009

The Miracle

When I was a teenager all I wanted to do is get married and start a family. I had of list of the children I was going to give birth to. All 12 of them. I had birth dates and names for them all. I had even included two sets of twins. But when I got married at 21 life didn't work out the way I had planned. All around me my friends were having babies, neighbors were having babies and teenagers I taught in church were having babies.

I went through every kind of fertility test available. I took my temperature every morning for years. I scheduled intimate moments for my most fertile time. (So romantic!) I took drugs, I had surgeries and then I volunteered to be a Guinea Pig at the University of Utah. My doctor at the U finally told me that I had multiple problems and my chances of ever having a natural child were so slim he wouldn't even give me a percentage of any chance. He told me to try adoption.

Those of you who have ever had fertility problems understand the turmoil you go through to accept the fact that you will not have natural children. It was a thought that was difficult to work around. But try for adoption was the choice. Two private adoptions fell through just weeks before each new baby was to be placed in my arms. Even today this is difficult to remember. Those of you who are going through this now, my heart goes out to you and I hope your time will be short and your ending joyful!

My doctor called once more and told me he had one more option. A new procedure that may work, or may not. So I scheduled the surgery for the Friday after Mothers Day 1985. Luckily for me, I was so sick on Mothers Day that I didn't have to face the dreaded Mothers Day Program at church. I knew that my time of the month would arrive that day. But it didn't....it didn't the next day or the next. I was as regular as a clock. Never even a second late and here I was getting ready for another surgery and my system was messed up.

During my pre-screening at the hospital they asked if there was a chance I was pregnant. I wanted to laugh, instead I cried and they took my blood anyway.

And a miracle happened......the hospital called and asked if I was Marrdy, yes I told them I was. They said your test is positive. I asked what test and they said my pregnancy test. I told them no, my name is Marrdy, that can't be my test. They then asked my full name and said yes your test is positive. I cried and cried and I still cry when I remember that day. One of the very best days of my life.

8 months later after 2 months of bed rest and 22 hours of labor I delivered a little boy by C section. A 5 pound 8 ounce, 18 inch son.

That first day was difficult. I was sick and Cole had been born with Poland Syndrome. No one, not the doctors, not anyone in the hospital knew what was wrong with him. They sent a nurse to sit with me that first night, just in case he didn't make it. He was born missing the middle bones of his fingers on his left hand and those fingers were webbed together. He was also missing his left peck muscle and his heart was pushed to the right side of his chest. I had a wonderful Pediatrician who researched this and came back to the hospital to give me an update. He was not sure what Cole's life would be like. When he was 9 days old he had his first of many trips to Primary Children's Medical Center in Salt Lake to have his heart looked at. I was drowning in self pity. Poor me. I had waited all these years for a child and may be loosing my baby. What a humbling day. After that day I was grateful for every moment I had with Cole. Grateful that his "problems" were so minimal. So very thankful that the Doctors said he was going to be fine. Just couldn't play football. (DANG!! Not.) Cole had to endure two surgeries to have his fingers separated and some plastic surgery. Plus follow ups with the Cardiologist to check his heart.


So today, January 7th, Cole is celebrating turning 23 years old today. Happy Birthday to the very first miracle of my life. The very answer to my prayers and the fulfilling of my dreams!


27 comments:

McEwens said...

What a great miracle that is!! After all thise years of waiting!

Happy Birthday Cole

nikkicrumpet said...

Happy Birthday Cole. And what an amazing sotry! I can't imagine how hard that must have been to have waited so long and then to think you might lose your baby. My son can't have kids...him and his wife struggle with it so much. And I hope they can get the chance to adopt...because they will be the most amazing parents. I'm so glad you had your miracle!!!

Oh and GOOOOOOO JAZZ!!!

Heather said...

Great story! Happy Birthday to your son. I hope to have a story like that of my own soon.

Tracy P. said...

That is beautiful! Happy Birthday, Cole! God takes such personal care of each of us--I love that about Him.

Adiel said...

I'm a little shocked that this is the first time hearing most of these details, even thought I understand why you might not want to share.

Happy anniversary of the first day you met Cole!

Melissa B. said...

Happy Birthday, Cole. What a wonderful story. I love the ones with happy endings!

Demand More said...

I love miracle stories! I can't imagine going thru all of that and Im glad everything worked out so well. I love having you in this family and I'm sure Cole is every bit as amazing as you. So Happy Birthday Cole!

nikkicrumpet said...

WOO HOO THAT GAME ROCKED! I love beating a pretty good team by such a HUGE margin..YAY us...and how about your man Milsap...was he awesome of what!!! I just hope they can continue at this pace and stop playing stupid!

Veggie Mom said...

Happy Birthday, C-Man! Have to say, you're Miracle Baby is kinda cute!!

Kim said...

what a fabulous story. I had to get a kleenex. Happy Birthday and congratulations on your miracle!

Lynn - the piggy bank painter said...

A beautiful story....you made me teary eyed.

Happy Birthday Cole!

tara @ kidz said...

Oh I loved this post! I'm adopted and my mom still gets emotional when talking about the many years she tried getting pregnant. Of course we're all glad how things turned out, but it doesn't take away the pain. What a miracle and a blessing your son is!

Kristin said...

I still think of Cole as the little guy when Jack and I were first dating :) and how a few times I was feeling shy at family stuff I would hang out with him - I think he was only 2 or 3. Amazing!!

My parents have the whole gushy adoption story for me - we put you under the Christmas tree etc etc. I can only imagine how difficult that time must have been for you - and now three awesome kids :)

Melissa B. said...

BTW, Dear Friend Marrdy: Don't forget Sx3 tomorrow...it's a 3-parter!

Tulsi said...

What a great day for you!! I always remember what I was thinking or doing at different times before my family has a birthday or anniversary. My only son turns 19 on the 12 and then is headed to MO on his mission. 19 is a hard birthday for me. We have lots of things going on in January. It is amazing that your son is doing so well. He looks good in the photo.

Mariah said...

Happy Birthday Cole~ Indeed a miracle :)

Mama Kat said...

Awwww happy birthday Cole!! That's such a sweet story Marrdy...I bet it feel good to be where you are in life now. Past all that worry and heartache and you KNOW your baby is ok.

And I'm glad your back in the loop with the blog. Ever since you left your job I haven't heard much from you OR Adiel. Missed you girls!

Becky said...

Thank you so much for sharing how sorrow can turn into peace and happiness. I also want to thank you for the sweet words and thoughts about my family when you were in the temple. My sorrow is great right now, I miss my husband dearly. But despite all that I can smile and know that my love and I will always be together because of the blessings of the temple. Thank you again for a moving post.

Ritch in Love said...

Oh Marrdy, that story just gave me so much hope! Heavenly Father certainly has a plan for each of us, doesn't He? Truly all things are done according to His plan and His time schedule. What an amazing blessing!

(And isn't your son handsome! Happy Birthday to your miracle!)

Ritch in Love said...

From one Utah fan to another, COME GET YOUR AWARD!

WheresMyAngels said...

What a great story. I just saw this posted on Ritch in Love's blog.

Happy Late Birthday to Cole.

the Pan-lings said...

I have known you 18 years and I have gotten to know you so much more intimate in the last 4 weeks than those 18 years! I love you even more and thank you for that amazing story of love, patience, and long-suffering.
Happy Birthday Cole!

Reeni♥ said...

I came over to say Hi from SITS. You were the comment above me on rollcall today. This is a beautiful story, Happy Birthday Cole!

Bookfool said...

Oh, wow, what an amazing story. You made me cry. Happy belated birthday to Cole.

Megan said...

What a wonderful, hope filled story. Thank you for sharing. Happy Birthday, belated, to Cole.

And thanks for stopping by and following me. =)

CatHerder said...

Its amazing isnt it. I was engaged at 17, married at 20, and didnt have my first baby until i was almost 29. I was told NEITHER of us could have a baby..so after 2 doctors and endless trying we gave up..bought an old 1700's home that needed re-done, went into debt..and yep...pregnant....TWO IN A ROW. Theyre turning 17 and 18 in the next few months, and WHAT A SURPRISE THEY WERE....even to the doctor! Happy birthday to Cole...raising kids is the hardest (but best) job in life...My eldest has BetaThalassemia and its an endless battle..but so worth it! Love your blog.

Lula! said...

Oh, I just LOVED reading this, Marrdy. You are blessed. He is blessed.