Thursday, August 14, 2008

Good Morning Jerk

I got a phone call this morning from a woman who was upset with, I'm assuming, someone that was not me. It was ever so pleasant to be greeted first thing in the morning with someone so pathetic. Why are there people like this in the world? They should be locked up in a sound proof room so that no one will have to listen to their rants anymore. So, because of that I have some ranting of my own.



I would like to address the appropriate ways to speak to people when you call a place of business for any kind of service. It seems there is some confusion on what is acceptable behavior in dealing with the folks who earn a measly penitence to assist you in your time of need.

1 - Please do not just assume that I know you and you know me. Even with Caller ID I do not know you although I can see your name on my little display. Please do not treat me like you are my long lost Aunt Bertha. Especially if you are trying to sell me something. It's kind of creepy. (I don't know which is more annoying...the screamers or the suck ups.)

2 - I may be the 4,000th person at this company that you have spoken to about this problem but I do not know what your problem is. Please do not scream at me because I have to ask a few questions. They do not pay me enough to put up with that kind of behavior. Besides I am betting you are older than two since you can use the phone so there is no reason to throw a fit. Please get a grip.

3 - I am so sorry you are having a bad day, year, decade, life...eternity. I really don't want to hear your sob story. I might feel a little sorry if your cat, dog, alligator, mother in law was recently hit by a Mac truck, but please don't use this as an excuse as to why your current bill is 6 months past due. Everyone has problems, me included. Maybe I should start sharing mine with you. We could all use some free therapy.

4 - There are many people in our office. If I happen to pick up the phone when you call back please don't think that I am the same person who answered the phone before. I wasn't and there is no reason for you to yell at me that I cut you off AGAIN! Take a few deep breaths, go to your happy spot and then begin to speak to me. Besides, I have no control over the person I or anyone else was transferring you to. If you would like to speak to his/her supervisor about the fact that his/her voice mail is full, he/she doesn't really know how to speak on the phone or he/she is a total idiot, I can transfer you to that person. But only if you play nice.

5 - Don't start your conversation accusing me of something. Even if it was me who did it, it may have been a mistake. I do make mistakes, but I know it is difficult for a person as perfect as you to understand that. Plus it makes me dislike you instantly.

6 - Please do not bad mouth other companies doing similar work. I actually work for a large corporation and not really a small company. You might be saying bad things about one of my good friends. And won't you be embarrassed when I tell you that the bad company is actually another branch of the company I work for. Also please don't say bad things about my co-workers. I actually like most of them and you will make me angry.

7 - And lastly, I am a big fan of Thumper and his amazing rule for getting along with people. And that Golden Rule is something pretty important too. Think about that BEFORE you call here. I don't like mean people and I just may ask one of the guys here to run over you with their big truck. Passive/Aggressive behavior...I am an expect!

Thank you and have a nice day!

16 comments:

COMcewens said...

OH THAT IS ALL SO TRUE!!!! Rude people drive me crazy! I agree, lets all be more like thumper!

Lynn - the piggy bank painter said...

I LOVE this post!
Is it okay to hang up on telemarketers? I don't yell, I just say no thanks and hang up.

Adiel said...

I couldn't agree more!

Amy @ Park City Girl said...

So sorry you had such a lame start to your day! I hope your post helped bring the smile back :) It was all so very well said!

Oh and thanks for your sweet comments. . . I'm sure if you really wanted to learn to quilt you could, just start simple :)

Heather said...

GREAT post! I couldn't agree more. Why can't people just be nice?

FarmGirl said...

Oh ya....likin' this post lots. I couldn't have stated the "rules" better....is it ok if I refer people to this post when they start on me, at work? I could say, "please check this informative site out. I look forward to helping you then, and only THEN!!" HA! I think that sounds like a good plan to me!

Lula! said...

This should be printed out, laminated, and carried in the pockets of every American citizen...and the ones living among us, as well.

Well said...and high time someone said it!

Tonya said...

I could not agree more...rude people and bad phone manners drive me mad...and you are so super nice to everybody, we need more nice people like you in this world!

Sydney said...

thanks for stopping by my blog! hope you'll visit again soon!

Kim said...

I always try to be nice when I get transferred for the umpteenth time. A smile and a nice tone go a lot farther than yelling and being mean.

Sherri - KaysvilleMomma said...

True... Very True.... I frequently need to remind myself that when someone calls me from my husband's stupid student loan company that they are just employees of the stupid place that makes collection phone calls every month even though the account was paid over 2 week ago.... I see a great blog post coming from this!!

Jack, Marrdy's favorite brother said...

The customer is always right. Stop your damn whining!!!

Veggie Mom said...

I'm a high school teacher who made the mistake of having my number listed in the phonebook. Every so often I get a cranky parent call early on a Saturday morning. Can you say "get a life"?

Veggie Mom said...

2 more things: I forgot to tell you about my friend Melissa B.'s Silly Summer Sunday Sweepstakes. She's got a kitty pic posted there today that's pretty sweet! http://scholastic-scribe.blogspot.com -- and one other thing: I'm off now to Blog Around the World--come visit soon to see how you can go, too!

cat said...

I agree 100%. People just have no manners these days. Thanks for visiting my blog.

Anonymous said...

Hey you! So I finally checked out your blog, by the way this is Amber, you know, your favorite in your new family. Anyway, I love the blog! I totally agree with the phone rules.