Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Why Animals Eat Their Young

There are days when I wonder why I wanted children so badly. I am sure many other mothers have the same thoughts. I had those thoughts on Saturday when I had the unique experience to have dreadful interactions with all three of my children. I know I should not complain. I was desperate for children. I tried to have a baby for 8 years. I had surgeries, took drugs, (bad, nasty drugs) I was a guinea pig, I took my temperature every morning for two years, I pleaded with God to please allow me to have a child while people all over the world were reproducing and terminating those pregnancy as if they were being bothered by a bug. (Sorry, political soap boxing) My arguments with God were always, "What have I done wrong? Why I am unworthy to be a mother?" Those closest to me told me I was NOT being punished. Well, now that my desperation has made me a mother, I am being punished.

I was a stay at home mom for about 6 months of the last 23 years. I feel like laying the blame for unruly children on that, but I know that is not true. There are many working mothers who have wonderful well behaved children. I also know little demon children of stay at home moms. I would also like to blame genetics, but I honestly was a good kid. And I have a few good brothers and sisters. Of course like in every family there were a few rebels. Maybe their genes skipped over to my kids. That's a good cop out. Truth is.....my kids are spoiled and it's all my fault.

Saturday they were demon children. They made me cry, all three of them. And they blamed each other.

I should have been a mean mom, much, much meaner.


I really do love my kids. More then I can even tell you. But...there are times I wish I would have feed them to the wolves before they became teenagers.

14 comments:

Heather said...

Marrdy you give me hope! I hope someday soon I will be wishing for the simpler child-free days. Hang in there! No parenting advice here just a virtual hug.

Adiel said...

Alright, now I want to kick some butt and put some people in their places...
Can I ? Can I? Huh? Huh?! Huh!?!
;)

Marrdy said...

Heather-Before I had kids I used to get so mad at mothers who complained about their kids. I used to think, "at least you HAVE kids!!" Now I am much more humble. And I hope someday you will be right here complaining with me!

Adiel-Would you like to start with the oldest, the girl or my mostly nice youngest??

Amy @ Park City Girl said...

Hang in there - I just face each day as a new one - but I know what you mean! :)

Lynn - the piggy bank painter said...

I have one teenager and one who says she's never going to be a teenager. I guess she'll just be 12 forever. Kind of like I am 30....yeah, that's it : )

And it took us 7 years to have the first one, and sometimes I wonder what were we thinking? And then they hug you and tell you they love you for no reason at all, and all is right with the world again. Hang in there....they can only stay teens for so long.

McEwens said...

Oh Marrdy.... I have been through three teenagers, and so I have some good advise, THROW THEM TO THE WOLVES NOW! Save yourself! Just kidding of course.... there will be days where they test ya.. BUT there are some rocking days too! Pick your battles

Adiel said...

It's funny, I never really think of my legs as my greatest feature, but I think they are what I get the most compliments on, second only to my lashes. So thanks! :)
You can't be replaced though Marrdy, don't even think it!

Yes, Steph is cute pregnant, she entered 97.1's baby bump contest, starts tomorrow!

And yes, Adam and I have the same nose, that makes us look alike despite his paleness. ;)

Tracy P. said...

That's so, uh--encouraging!? ;-) Hope things get better soon!

Brooklyn said...

Yikes! Took us 8 yrs too. I can relate to that part. Haven't hit the teenage years yet and I don't want to even think about it. I just pray they'll be best friends and not each others worst enemies.

I can't imagine you being mean Marrdy. When I think of my memories of you I always see you with a smile on your face. You were always smiling!

Good luck! Hope next weekend they'll treat you much better. :)

Veggie Mom said...

These things come and go in cycles. The other day, my youngest was nasty to me about 90 percent of the day, but yesterday was sweet as pie. Some day they'll grow and and realize how much their Mommy means to them!

Sid said...

Good NEWS: They grow up and move away!
BAD NEWS: They grow up and move away!
You never stop being a mom, even when they are married, or on their own. Oh how I miss having them around tho'. When they irritate the snot out of you, pull out the baby pics and that always help you get over the hurt really fast.
Remember "This to will pass" and we've all got to go thru it. HUGS! and more HUGS!
BTW I'll be a grandma in 7 weeks! ;)

Tonya said...

Great, this is what I have to look forward to. Can't they just stay little forever?

Sherri - KaysvilleMomma said...

I am back...... I miss some things from pre - children life but I wouldn't change it for the world!!!

Melissa B. said...

It gets a wee bit better as they get older, but sometimes they can be barracudas just the same. I wonder if it has to do with having only girls, but I've been getting snarky comments since before they could reasonably learn to talk! BTW, on a completely different subject, we're Sharing the Caption Love over at my place today. Yup, it's time for the Silly Sunday Sweepstakes--come play along!